Gendered upbringing?

I get asked about this a lot, and many of my friends have quite strong opinions (much stronger than mine) on the topic. How "gendered" should we be brining up our children who are born in the 21st century? How much do you a) think about the issue, b) control the issue, and c) Where would you draw lines that you personally don't want to cross (e.g. letting your boys hair grow waste-length at the age 6)?