Are Moms, Dads, and other Trust People Interchangeable?

Over the weekend, a radio interview with two authors was broadcasted in Germany. Quite a few people sent it to me, because the topic of the interview, and a book that two women had written, was "The lie of compatibility of having work and children". One of the premises was that mothers want to spend a lot of time with their children once these are born. I found it a bit of an irritating assumption, because I don't think all mothers do. The second premise was that mothers cannot be replaced by fathers. Again something irritating to me, because I am against the first premise exactly for this reason - I believe fathers can be equally good and fulfilling parents as mothers are. And the third premise, not even mentioned, was that a third trust person (e.g. grandparent, caretaker) cannot replace the role of a parent. I again disagree, at least in the short run, based on our own experiences.

So, a few questions:

- Are mothers unique (beyond giving birth and breastfeeding), especially in later years after infancy?

- Can fathers be just as good as mothers as parents?

- Can a "third party" be just as good of a caretaker?

Unforgettable Quotes

Here's a pretty hilarious list of quotes on what kids have said about marriage.

What are some of the funniest things your kids have said to you?

My younger son (now 2 years and 8 months) pointed to our wedding photo a few days ago and said "äiti, minä haluu naimissii" ("mommy, I want get married").

Wishing you all a Monday full of memorable moments!

Historical Breastfeeding

Thought you would enjoy this!

25 Historical Images That Normalize Breastfeeding

Pay attention to the captions ;)

On a more serious note, what do you think about the whole breastfeeding debate? A non-issue and simply all too American fuss? That's how I tend to think as I think breastfeeding is the most ordinary thing to do. It's about feeding the baby, for goodness sake!

Then again I have to admit that there are instances where it can go overboard, not just with being overly cautious but being overly flashy. There's the, "It's okay, I'll go and breastfeed my newborn in that filthy public toilet" which brings my blood to a boil. No, it's NOT okay to have to do that!

Then again I've been to a cocktail party where a gorgeous model-like woman fed her toddler with lots of boob out for display... Nourishment for all?Maybe going a bit far, I'd say, but then again I'm not a model so maybe I'm being jealous and prude.

What do you think?

Gendered upbringing?

I get asked about this a lot, and many of my friends have quite strong opinions (much stronger than mine) on the topic. How "gendered" should we be brining up our children who are born in the 21st century? How much do you a) think about the issue, b) control the issue, and c) Where would you draw lines that you personally don't want to cross (e.g. letting your boys hair grow waste-length at the age 6)?

How much TV for kids? A Charlie and the Chocolate Factory-inspired question.

Over the weekend, I read Roald Dahl's 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' with my second daughter (who can read, but slowly, so we still read longer books for her). I'd read it as a child (have not seen the Johnny Depp movie), and remember liking it back then. As an adult, I think it is one of the best books ever. Actually, every parent with children aged 2 should read it. Without giving away too much, the main theme for a parent is how your actions (or reactions) influence the behavior of your child. It's simply delicious.

One of the children watches TV all of the time. My question today is: how much TV should children watch? With 'TV', I also include any youtube-clips or DVDs. Anything where children passively watch a screen. How much do your children watch each day, or over a week? Do you ration differently for your sons, in terms of time and what they watch? Do they watch alone, or with you? Who chooses what they watch?

F...ing Nuts

The New Yorker recently posted a rather amusing article online: New Parenting Study Released. In the spirit of Ape manure, what makes you go "f...ing nuts" as a parent? I'm assuming we all want to climb walls now and then ;)

Equality - among Parents

Just as tricky of a question as the previous one you posed (equality among children) is that of equality among parents. How do you think parenting tasks should be divided between parents? Is the woman the primary caretaker and manager of the household? What kind of role model do you and your husband try to be for your sons? Do you think you would try to be a different role model if you had a daughter?